Babies

M from the last post told me this yesterday.

"I am writing my All-About book on babies because I know a lot about them. I even know how to put them to bed, except I have trouble reaching all the way down into the crib to lay them down, so sometimes I just drop them a little bit. That's why I'm not allowed to put my baby cousin in his crib."

Maturity.

I have a little one who, for multiple reasons, is very immature. I don't mean this in a bad way; this cutie is fun, social, and most importantly, very bright.

We'll call her M.

M is always looking for loopholes in the system...I promise she's constantly thinking, I know this rule is for everyone else, but I'm really cute...I can probably get away with it.

High intelligence + cuteness = ornery.

Love this kid.

On another note, I have the kind of kids this year who need very specific rules...more rules than any of my other classes. We have goofy rules, in my opinion, but these kids need them, such as:

1. Once you sit there, stay.
2. Only two pencils in your desk.
3. Use only one paper towel after you wash your hands.

M doesn't like rule number three. Many days I have to say, "M, only one paper towel, please." And pretty much every day, there she is with multiple paper towels.

It's really not a huge deal--unless you're Little J.

Today was no different. M tried using multiple paper towels again, but today, no one really noticed thanks to a mini-crisis that was happening during her paper-towel fiesta. The crisis ended, life resumed, and M sat back down. Pretty soon, M's hand went up and she said, "Mrs. Overman, A used two paper towels."

Usually I don't entertain tattling, but since M was bothered by someone using too many paper towels, I said, "A, please use only one paper towel next time," thinking that M finally got the point.

No sooner had M's tattle left her mouth did Little J shout,

"M USED TWO PAPER TOWELS TOO!"

Personal Mini-Lesson for M: Always ask yourself if you have done something wrong before tattling on someone.

Underwear

Always a risky subject.

I walked by Little J working extra hard to hike up his pants today. He noticed, then said,

"I picked out the big underwear today."

Chicken Drumsticks

Ruth Ayres--this one is for you from one of your favorites.

Today at lunch for the first time ever we had chicken on the bone--chicken drumsticks, actually.

I could not have anticipated all the issues that would arise simply because we had to eat meat off the bone.

Several kids didn't understand that when you eat all the chicken, you don't save the bones and wash them like silverware. And you don't eat the bones. And you don't play with the bones.

One of my little guys was practically having a nervous breakdown over this lunch. I, on the other hand, was laughing hysterically.

This is mostly how the conversation went:

N: What is this?!?!

Me: It's a chicken leg.

N: What?!?! From a real chicken?

Me: Yeah, what did you think it was?

N: I thought it was a real drumstick made out of chicken.

*giggle*

N: This is a real leg of chicken?!

Me: Yes, honey. You can eat it.

N: But it has bones!

Me: I know, but you might really like the meat if you pull it off the bones.

N: What?!?! I don't think I like eating real animals.

Me: N, do you like chicken nuggets? Because this is the same thing, except it has bones.

{N gets help from a buddy "ripping" meat off the bone and tastes a microscopic bite}

N: Oh no. This is NOT like nuggets. I don't know WHAT chicken nuggets are made from , but this tastes like ALIVE chicken.

*giggle from everyone at the table*

N: I am never going to be able to eat animals again. And I probably won't be able to eat chicken nuggets again either.




Do they provide therapy for this kind of thing?

Best (Kid) Excuse This Year

One of my little ones inexcusably missed two or three simple math problems on her homework. Upon questioning, she explained:

"Oh yeah, I missed this because my bear was helping me."

Maybe You'll Think These Are Funny.

I've noticed in my three years of teaching first grade that by spring kids are starting to understand jokes.

After awhile, they begin to create their own. Oh dear.

Here is how I spent my lunch today:

"Mrs. Overman, why did the giraffe cross the road? He wanted to die and get a truck stuck in his neck!"

"Why did the bunny cross the road? He wanted to get hit by a car. No wait, that's not right...I saw this on TV once...I mean, he didn't want to get hit so he hopped really fast."

"Mrs. Overman, why did the chicken cross the road? To get some eggs."

"Hey! Why did the rabbit cross the road? So he could run across the street!"

I finally excused myself from this roadkill fest.

Don't you wonder if the SNL writers started out like this too?

Tattoos

Lest I offend any of my faithful readers, I'll begin by saying I have several dear friends with tattoos. I have no real problem with them...but I don't want one.

Tattoos + first graders: you know this can ONLY head south.

I have a little guy that's superquiet all the time. Today I look over and he's discreetly pulled his shirt up so his cohort can take a good long look at his stick-on tattoos.

Oh yes, they were all in a row, neatly lined up from his elbow to his shoulder.

No kidding.

So I say, "B, what did you do, just put the entire page of tattoos on yourself?"

He says, "Yep."

At least yours will come off in the shower.