Turds.

You know you want to read this...even if you think the word "turds" is inappropriate.

Plus, the star of the show is none other than Little J.

Ah, Little J...haven't heard from him in awhile, huh?


I'm reading the book "The Willoughbys" by Lois Lowry to the kids. They are LOVING it...it's just hysterical...about these kids who are trying to get rid of their parents and the parents are trying to get rid of their kids.

So yesterday in the book the parents went on vacation and hired a nanny, who talks about the kids eating raisins in their oatmeal. The oldest child says, "Raisins are turds!"

Little J came up to me privately after we finished reading it and said, "You know Mrs. Overman, I always thought meatballs were turds."

Reese Cups

Here's a snippet of lunch conversation I had with a little girl the other day while she finished off a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup:

K: You know, my sister thinks these are gross.

(Sister is four, BTW)

Me: Oh yeah? Why?

K: Well, she had her first one last night and she ate the entire thing with the brown wrapper on. Then she felt sick. So she doesn't like them anymore.

Birthdays.

I SO miss blogging. Actually, that's not true...I miss the funny things my kids say that I blog. They're so much more mature this year; their little filters are on almost all the time. Heaven forbid they say ANYTHING that might make them look uncool or immature.

I really hate that.

I managed to catch a little something Friday, though. We're learning how to write dates with digits, such as 12-8-08.

Here's how our conversation turned quickly from amazingly knowledgeable to (whoops!) we're still not TOTALLY mature yet:

Me: Okay, so M, when was your original birthday? Like the year you were born, too? Let's write it up here on the board.

M: January 25, 2001. So 1-25-01.

Me: Good! D, how about you?

D: October 21, 2000. 10-21-00.

Me: Good. What will we write for the date of your next birthday?

D: 10-21-09.

Me: Yep. That's right. A, what will we write for the date of your next birthday, next year?

A: Um, 4-13-01.

Me: Almost. Next year will be 2009, so what will we put for the year?

A: We'll write 4-13-01.

Me: No, honey; you're having a birthday next year, right? Who else is having a birthday next year?


And here's the kicker: probably only half the class raised their hands.

Dum dum dum...


Me: Only HALF of you are having birthdays next year? Okay, so who's planning on being alive next year?

*all hands go up*

Me: Great! So then you'll all have birthdays, right?

I'm having a baby...lizard.

Here's a good conversation for you:

Me: Hi, Z, how are you?

Z: Good. How's the baby? Can you feel it kicking yet?

Me: Nope, not yet. It's still too small.

Z: Yeah, and you can't feel it kicking right now because it's a lizard.

Me: Huh? A lizard? Are you being silly or serious?

Z: I'm serious! My stepmom is pregnant and I looked at her books and when the baby is too small to kick you it's because it's a lizard.



I always thought those pictures of 6-week-old babies in the womb looked familiar.

Politics for the Little Guys.

We had our own election yesterday at school for President and Governor, so the buzz all day was "Who are you voting for?"

I wore my "Duck for President" button...you know, the book by Doreen Cronin and Betsy Lewin? But I digress.

We had WAY too many theories in our room about who to vote for and you could tell on this one that moms and dads had superstrong opinions this time around. Perhaps you'll learn some things about our candidates today as you read (I should have posted them yesterday...they might have impacted your votes! Hee hee...):

• John McCain will make us have no more guns. That means we will have no more meat because we won't be able to kill animals anymore.
• Barak Obama is going to make the gas prices go down and John McCain will make them go up.
• If we elect John McCain and he dies, Sarah Palin will be working in Washington. Then who will be taking care of the Polar Bears in Alaska?

Betcha didn't know all that, huh?

Not what a pregnant lady should see at lunch. Or what ANYONE should see at lunch.

I am a sympathy puker, meaning, NORMALLY, if someone throws up within earshot, the very least I do is gag really hard.

My skyrocketed hormone levels have changed this a little, I think; or God has blessed me with the ability to hold in my sympathy sickness since I teach little ones.


Anyone else out there who teaches: don't you find the cafeteria to be a vomit-magnet? It's like a kid can be fine all day and then WHAM--there it is, all over the place, right where you're trying to eat your enchiladas. Ugh.

So yesterday my little guy G and I are having another lovely conversation about Harry Potter and why Voldemort is so evil when mid sentence he burps and proceeds to throw up all over the front of his shirt.

He looks at me in complete shock, only to find the same reaction on my face.

Me: "What in the world just happened?!?!?!"

G: "Beats me! I guess I just threw up in my mouth a little bit."

And wouldn't you know it, this kid didn't even get up...just took a swig of milk and kept right on talking.

Yep.

I have chewed gum almost non-stop lately to fight my morning sickness (which, BTW, should actually be called "all-day sickness"). My kids have noticed the chewing and have asked, but apparently today it became more bothersome to them...which is how the following came about:

Little J (you know it...all good conversations start with him): Guys, that is the third piece of gum Mrs. Overman has spit out this morning!

K: I know. She chews gum now.

[more chatter and speculation about why I've been chewing gum and snacking all day]

Me: Okay, okay, would you like to know why I've been chewing gum?

All: YEAH! (they are so nibby...always wanting to know more...I'm sure they think I live in a box in the cafeteria)

Me: Okay, I'm pregnant. Do you know what that means?

All: YEAH! YOU ARE?!?! WHY? WHERE IS THE BABY?

Me: I haven't had the baby yet.

D: Why?

Me: Because it hasn't been born yet.

T: When will you have it? Soon?

Me: No, not until the end of the year...close to my birthday.

N: Why does it take so long to have a baby?

Me: Good question.

Relationships.

One of my little girls gave me a whole lot of insight into her family today.

"Mrs. Overman, you know about my stepdad? Well, he was actually just my mom's boyfriend. They broke up, though, because she was just his moneymaker. Did you know he was giving all my mom's money to his girlfriend?"

What did I say, you wonder? It was something like, "Oh, okay..."

Toenails.

For the record, you must know: I HATE feet. Hate them.

My friend's mom was a sub next door to me this week and she came down and said, "Hey, I don't know if I should send this kid to the nurse or not. Do you have a minute?"

I said, "Sure. Tell me."

"Well, they are changing their shoes for P.E. and he can't get his socks on because his toenails are too long."

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!

I wanted to throw up right there. Ugh.

Fireflies.

Somehow we ended up headfirst in a discussion about fireflies and how in the world their "butts light up."

Here's Little J's theory (who else?):

"Well, it's just like farting. They make their butt go and then it lights up. When they're done farting, the light goes off."

See if this makes sense to you.

Because it doesn't make sense to me!

Little J said, "Mrs. Overman, you know, if your brain was a sink, you couldn't figure out what
2 +4 is."

Sure.

Writing Honestly.

One of my colleagues and I have been teaching writing together and starting something about writing honestly. You know, secrets, stuff you don't want anyone to see, maybe you want to padlock this stuff, embarrassing stuff, etc.

Here's what came out of that:

"I wonder why my mom and dad fight. Then why do they kiss after that?"

"I really miss my grandpa because he died. And I love him so much."

"This morning at breakfast I burped and then farted. Then I got to school and I had to again, so I went in the bathroom and farted some more. Then I burped and it was funny. And it just kept going on and on and on."


You know we were all laughing...

Writers write things they want to remember.

That was my mini-lesson main idea for writing workshop today and apparently I didn't do the most fabulous job of conveying my expectations for this project...which actually turned out to be pretty hilarious.

Here are a couple of the things they wrote:

• "I have to remember my birthday or I'll just have to stay seven again. And I have to remember Halloween or I'll have to wait another whole year for it."
• "Make sure you always spray your lizard or its tail will fall off. [note picture of lizard with brown tail]. If his tail falls off, it doesn't grow back as nice as the first one."

Rain.

Today it started raining while we were outside for recess and one little girl started yelling,

"Hey everybody! Now we won't have to take a shower tonight!"


Umm, yes you do.

Lunch conversations are always the best.

Remember I eat lunch with my kids? I almost always get more information than I need there.

So yesterday a little girl said to me, "Mrs. Overman, my mom has a new boyfriend. He is WAAAY handsomer than the old one. And he doesn't drink beer either really. AND my dad has a new girlfriend. She's trying to quit smoking but she ran out of gum. I think the dog ate it. And the gum didn't work."

Well, this way I'll have things to talk about at conferences.

BTW--if you're a parent, I am SO just kidding.

;)

You just never know where we'll end up.

Somehow the conversation today turned to your parents borrowing your money when you're a kid.

Remember, my kids are seven.

"Mrs. Overman, my parents borrowed my entire life savings to pay a bill! A whole plastic egg filled with my money...my whole life savings!"

Pet names

My friend and colleague Ruth was in my room today for awhile--great time in there, btw--and told me this story:

"B says he has a cat but won't tell me the name because its name has a bad word in it."


Shortly after that M came to me and said, "Mrs. Overman, this picture looks like my dog, Buttmunch."

Poor dog.

Kids having kids.

You know my Little J? Today we were working on a very important project which required lots of moving around and things and therefore came with lots of noise.

Some days noise bothers Little J, but it's rather unpredictable if it will or not.

Apparently today it did because he turned to me and said, "I think when I have kids they'll just drive me crazy."

Not exactly an advertisement for Applebee's...

Yesterday I asked my kids to share what they had/did for dinner the night before. Then of course, it was my turn, and "Mrs. Overman, what did you do?"

Me: I had dinner with my two favorite teachers at Applebee's.

M: Oh yeah. I threw up Applebee's before. Mini-cheeseburgers.

Me: Ugh.

Ahh, writing conferences.

There is literally nothing I love more about my job than have conversations with my kids.

And this is why.

Today I did my usual conferring with kids. I am trying to get around to my newbies first (the ones I didn't have last year) in order to know them a little better and give them the extra little ummph they need in writing. "A" was first on my list to meet with today.

A is as young as she is quiet in comparison to the rest of my kiddos. I said, "Would you read your story to me or would you like me to read it myself?"

"I'll read it to you. 'My mom, my dad, and my brother. I love my family. My mom cleans. My brother likes video games. My dad is a lazy bum.'"

The minnow is still alive.

Yesterday during Writing Workshop one of my little guys had a picture of a fish and some too-small-to-read words in a bubble next to it.

Me: E, will you tell me about your fish?

E: Oh yeah. This is my fish. My uncle gave him to me and I was going to feed him to my cat. But then I realized he wasn't dead. So I just put him in a bowl and started feeding him. Sometimes the food falls all the way to the bottom of the bowl, though.

Morbid.

Right in the middle of lunch today, one of my little ones looked at me and said,

"Mrs. Overman, are you just gonna teach here 'till you're dead?"

Satellite Dish

I start my mornings with community time where kids share lots of different things. I have the same kiddos this year, so I wanted to know what they spent their summer doing. I got the typical answers:

• "I went swimming in the lake."
• "I played with my sister."
• "We went camping."

Then G shared, "I was helping my sister build a treehouse and look at my thumb!" [holds up thumb with a seriously nasty blood blister] "Then look what happened!" [holds up finger with a big scrape]

"G, what happened there?"

He replied, "Well, after we worked on the treehouse, we rode bikes. I rode right into the satellite dish."

Seriously...who does that?!

Pony

School doesn't start for another week, but I have a good one for you. Hopefully I'll get all the details right (if not, Ruth, feel free to leave a comment and correct me!).

My friend Ruth has a friend whose daughter we'll call "A". She's four and apparently has spent LOTS of time praying (as do most little girls) for a pony. Her parents decided not to tell her she wasn't going to get a pony, but instead just let her pray what she wanted.

After MANY days and nights of praying for the pony, the family awoke to find a pony in front of their house. Of course, A wasn't surprised; she had been expecting it!

The parents desperately tried to find the pony's owner...no luck.

Lucky they live in the country....

Are you there?

Well, if you're here with me, yay! I know I said I wouldn't be back until fall, but something funny happened and I'd like to remember it here.

This story was told at a family gathering this past weekend.

When my cousin Jennifer was little she had an imaginary friend. Said friend went everywhere with her...and went with my aunt and uncle as well since she, of course, was always with them. Apparently they left Imaginary Friend at a rest stop one day.

You read it right: THEY LEFT IMAGINARY FRIEND AT A REST STOP.

How?

Like this:

They stopped at the rest stop, did their thing, got back in the van, started to pull away...then Jennifer screamed, cried, and demanded they go back because--

Imaginary Friend was still on the bench at the rest stop.


I'm not a parent, and when I am someday I'm sure I'll change my tune, but I wouldn't have gone back. No thanks, we will get over this by driving and doing something else.

My uncle, being the wonderful guy he is, pulled over, opened the door, and made SURE Imaginary Friend was back in the car again. His comment:

"People watching were probably like, 'What an idiot. This guy's opening and closing the door for nothing.'"

Summer!

Hi all! I'm taking a blogging break because, let's face it, I rarely catch stories in the summer since my own "children" are four-legged, chase bunnies, and bark. We'll catch up in the fall.

And FYI, you'll hopefully read more about the same characters since I get to keep my class next year (mostly). Yay!

Kuh-lone.

I have to squeeze out all the Little J stories I can since we only have 2 days to go...here's a good one for you.

Little J: Mrs. Overman, I wish I had a kuh-lone.

Me: What? Cologne?

Little J: NO! No, kuh-lone.

Me: Cologne...why, do you think you stink?

Little J: NO! NO! NO! Kuh-lone! A kuh-lone is somebody who looks just like me!

[I'm thinking, honey, you're a twin, you have that already]

Me: Oh, clone. Why?

Little J: Then I could sit at home all day and do nothin' while he does all the work.

It's field day.

It was field day today.

Two quick stories for you:

1. We were playing a game where if you were wearing green you had to run. One of my little girls said, "Mrs. Overman, I don't think I should run because I only have green on my panties and that doesn't really count, right?"

No.



2. One little guy from another team fell really hard during a game and said, "Mrs. Minear, my head's pretty hard, but that one really hurt."

Eyeball

Little J often kinda "hooks" into one thing each day. Some days it's Velcro. Some days it's lamps.



Today it is a plastic googly eyeball.



You know the kind--you buy them to make eyes for creatures you make.

That eyeball has been EVERYWHERE today.

In fact, he can't be without it. So you can image the trauma when it got lost this morning:

[running around room, screaming] "I LOST MY EYEBALL! I LOST MY EYEBALL! PLEASE, I CAN'T FIND MY EYEBALL!"

Fortunately for us all, we found it.

____________________________________________________________

The kids are outside right now and the eyeball is on the sink.

Maybe I'll just throw it away and be done with it...but I have this feeling that if I do, I'll be dumpster diving by 2:00.

The Seventies and Eighties

Here is the conversation I had with a little girl at lunch today:

"Mrs. Overman, did you know my mom was born at the seventies? Or maybe the eighties. But she's been to both. Did you know the seventies and eighties are places? And they don't have TV there. And lots of things are black and white. Plus their toys are different at the eighties too. My grandpa died at the eighties. Have you been there?"


When I was there I wore legwarmers with my side-ponytail.

Manners.

We had to have a good, healthy talk about manners the other day because we've just forgotten all about them. I made a quick little sign with our most popular manner words:

*Please
*Thank you
*You're welcome
*Excuse me
*I'm sorry

One of my little ones said "please" this morning and I made a big stink about how nice that was, what a great idea it was, etc.

Shortly after that, another little girl came up and said, "Mrs. Overman! I farted during circle time and remembered to say excuse me!"

Excellent. Now let's work on not doing that at all, please.

Barnyard Animals

I have a little one who lives on a farm and recently got some baby chicks. M, we'll call her. Other names have been changed.

So M updates us on her new chicks a lot. Today was no different...well, that's not really true:

"Well, guys, you know my baby chicks? They're named after some of our kids in here--Chelsea, Holly, and Nikki. Sorry to say this, Chelsea, but the one named after you died last night."


Thanks for sharing....Meanwhile, I'm thinking up new rules for sharing time:
1. No sharing about death.
2. No sharing about body parts or functions of those parts.
3. No theorizing about what your parents do when you can't seem to get their bedroom door open. Just go play, okay?

Animal Names

Twice today I've had something come up with pets' names:

1. One of my little girls wrote the names of her puppies. One was Virginia. Did you know Virginia sounds really bad when you say it with a long i? Vir-jine-ya. But hey, when you often sound out words, sometimes they come out funny.

2. "Mrs. Overman, did you know I have a cat named Lucifer? Because he always scratches you all the time."

No, I'm not telling my kids they were right.

We are turning into second graders in my room. That means a lot of things, but lately it's meant that lots of things are much more dramatic because we make them that way.

Ugh.

So...the other day, I see about four of my kiddos crouched in a corner, murmuring something and motioning others to come over too.

"Mrs. Overman, there's a dead frog over here!"

Recalling some earlier drama, I say, "I'm sure it's not a dead frog. That is just so silly; no frogs would come in here. Now enough. Get back to work right now, please."

Later in the day, more kids, more drama...more dead-frog-in-the-corner conversations...more "Enough, please!" from me.

I finally cave and go see said frog.

I don't have the eyes of a seven year old, so all I see is a chunk of something and I report to them:

"That is not a frog. It's nothing. Keep reading."

Now, I secretly know it is something...and I'm not touching it. Therefore I make the executive decision: we're done with working on the floor today.

After school, I mention to our custodian that there's something under the cabinets and I don't want to touch it, will you please take care of it? The kids are sure it's a frog, but please just get rid of it.

He does, and says,

"Don't tell your kids...it is a dead frog."

*groan*

God

Check out the OTHER conversation that happened at my back table today.

Same kids.



Little J: Mrs. Overman, I've been wondering since kindergarten: how did all this stuff get made?

Me: What stuff?

J: You know, STUFF! STUFF! All the stuff everywhere in here. EVERYTHING!

Me: Like...paper? Pictures? Books?

J: NO!!!!!! EVERYTHING!

[somebody help me...]

Me: Like...in the world? Like outside?

J: YES. Yes, like everything outside. How did God make all that? Where did he get the stuff to make all the stuff?

[we wish we knew!]

A: You can pray and ask Him and He'll tell you.

J: Oh my gosh! WHAT?!?! Oh my!

Fingernails.

Check out the conversation that went on at my back table today.

A: Mrs. Overman, is it just me, or are your fingernails growing before my eyes?

Me: What?!?! Umm, it's just you.

Little J: Hey! I thought girls only cut their toenails!

Worms

There's a supercute picture book called Diary of a Worm that's written from a worm's perspective. He tries new things, has friends, etc. He mentions in the book that one of the sad things about being a worm is that you can't chew gum.

One of my little guys today wrote this response in his reading notebook:

Name: N.
Title: Diary of a Worm
The big idea is you may think that worms have better lives than yours but his is worser.


Does that make you feel better or what?

Good At Drawing

Little J, Little J.

Today he was BEYOND fascinated that I had two copies of the same book AND that everything was exactly the same in them.

He checked out all the pages. "Read me the part when she says PU again! I'm going to find it in the other book now."

"Look, that's a picture like in this one!"



And then, a lightbulb clicked on in his brain...a different-colored lightbulb, but a lightbulb nonetheless:

"Mrs. Overman! This author must be really good at drawing. She copied the same EXACT picture on this book! And it looks the same as this one in the other book!"


Yep.

Golfing

Quote of the day:

"Mrs. Overman, you know what? My brother and I played some golf yesterday and I hit him right in the head. But he didn't die or anything."

Big Idea.

My kids have said the FUNNIEST things lately...I wish I could remember them all.


Here's a little background on how I teach reading that is pertinent to this story:
My kids have learned (yay!) to identify the "Big Idea" of each story. The big idea is what you think the author is trying to teach everyone.

More additional info:
My students LOVE Dr. Seuss books...especially Hop On Pop, which is all about words that rhyme (like "Ed, Red, and Ted are in Bed").

One of my little guys placed his reading notebook on my desk (I write in them and give them back the next day). This is what it said:

Name: N.
Title: Hop On Pop
The big idea is don't hop on your Pop when your Pop is sleeping.


Don't you think that's a good lesson for everyone?

Conversations

Some of the conversations kids have with one another just crack me up. There have been A LOT of them lately. Really too many to write down--but I'll try to get in a couple.



Conversation one (told to me by a friend):

A: Did you know that the word phone starts with a p?

K: I know! It's so weird.




Conversation two (in my classroom today):

T: I am sooo sick today. AND I threw up last night.

M: Yeah, well, I have sinus problems. And that is MUCH worse than throwing up because you have to sneeze ALL DAY.



Conversation three (at lunch the other day):

N: Mrs. Overman, how do they get chicken nuggets?

Me: How do you think they make them?

N: Well, they probably kill the chicken, cut it into circles and then cook it.

Me: Yeah, you're right! How do they get milk?

N: [pretends to milk cow] Or sometimes they use robots to milk them too.

Unhooking Your Eyes.

Little J said to me today, "Mrs. Overman, I really wish I could make those things that hook my eyes forward unhook so I could see my brain."

Me: What?

J: Yeah, I saw on SpongeBob how he unhooked his eyes and they rolled around in there and he saw his brain. But it was only dark in there. I could see my brain if I looked. Plus, the smarter you are, the more gigantic your brain is!

Me: Oh really?

J: Yeah, but I don't think my brain is going to be that gigantic when I see it.

Me: Why not? You're really smart.

J: Yeah, but I just think it's kinda medium-size.

Bumblebees

Today we had a special program about bumblebees.


Did you know when you're seven and you learn a lot about bumblebees three things happen?

1. EVERYTHING looks like/might just be a bumblebee, so WATCH OUT!

2. You don't want to play outside anymore on account of the fact that you will probably get stung.

3. You find yourself running in circles from things that might be a bumblebee (see point 1) and refuse to leave your teacher's side for your entire recess and cry when she reminds you to "enjoy the day and play".

Pregnant Mommy

I heard this story today...thought I'd pass it along to you all.

Someone said recently a little girl (probably less than four years old, she guessed) came into her shop with her pregnant mommy. Amanda talked with the little girl about her mom's growing tummy and the little girl responded, "Yeah, I really hope it's a puppy."

Bones, Bones, and More Bones

We're doing a mini-unit on the human body. Learning facts. Cutting out organs. Reading stuff. Checking out pictures. Doing experiments.

We're pretty cool in here what with all our body knowledge.

Now--remember the kid who had a mini-breakdown over eating chicken drumsticks at lunch? (see previous post titled "Chicken Drumsticks")


On the way out the door today, he stopped me and said, "Mrs. Overman, I really think all this body stuff is just gross."

I said, "Well, knowing how much you hated chicken bones at lunch, I don't think you're gonna like what we're putting on our paper bodies tomorrow."

N: "WHAT?!"

Me: "Tomorrow we're adding the bones!"

N: "OH NOOOOO! EWWW!"


Five bucks says he's absent tomorrow.

;o)

Church

Today our pastor repeatedly made a point by using the same phrase/question a few times:

"Does anyone else see the problem with this logic?" (The rhetorical answer: yes, this logic in particular was a big problem).

He had made four of his five points this morning with probably 1000 people in attendance in this service. Everyone was waiting, listening intently, and he said again something along the lines of "Does anyone else see the problem in this logic?"

and then a teeny toddler voice broke the stillness:

"Nooo!!!"


Denny said the only thing he could really say:

"Now I know why we have a nursery."

Tagged

My friend Katie tagged me and because I love her and well, I want to, I'll answer the questions.

Oh, and I'm in Florida just hangin...why not?

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

What I was doing ten years ago:
1. Ending my junior year of high school.
2. Working at an education store.
3. Deciding things about college (major and place).
4. Dating the only other guy I ever dated other than my husband.
5. Hanging out by the country club pool.

Five things on my to-do list today (oh, remember, I'm in Florida on Spring Break):
1. Eat lunch
2. Lay out
3. Play in the ocean some more
4. Upload photos to Facebook
5. Read some more

Places I have traveled:
1. Jamaica
2. Cayman Islands
3. Mexico
4. almost every state in the continental US
5. St. Simon's Island

Snacks I enjoy:
1. York Peppermint Patties
2. String Cheese
3. Any chocolate
4. Fruit
5. Baked Cheetos

Five bad habits of mine:
1. Not listening to voicemail
2. Not grading papers quickly
3. hitting snooze too many times
4. Speaking too quickly without thinking
5. Assuming the worst

Things I'd do if I were a billionaire:
1. Buy and maintain houses for all my family/friends
2. Buy some vacation houses
3. Give half of it away to people who need it

Five places I've lived:
1. Muncie, Indiana
2. North Webster, Indiana
3. Warsaw, Indiana
(yep, that's really it...and I spent the first 23 years of my life in Muncie...)

Five jobs I've had:
1. Lifeguard
2. Teacher
3. Coach
4. Sign Language Interpreter
5. IM Sports Head Supervisor @ BSU (first girl ever! ROCK!)

Five people I tag:
1. Deanna Greene
2. Evan Overman
3. Cathy Laker
4. Sarah Amick
5. Jen Barney

Babies

M from the last post told me this yesterday.

"I am writing my All-About book on babies because I know a lot about them. I even know how to put them to bed, except I have trouble reaching all the way down into the crib to lay them down, so sometimes I just drop them a little bit. That's why I'm not allowed to put my baby cousin in his crib."

Maturity.

I have a little one who, for multiple reasons, is very immature. I don't mean this in a bad way; this cutie is fun, social, and most importantly, very bright.

We'll call her M.

M is always looking for loopholes in the system...I promise she's constantly thinking, I know this rule is for everyone else, but I'm really cute...I can probably get away with it.

High intelligence + cuteness = ornery.

Love this kid.

On another note, I have the kind of kids this year who need very specific rules...more rules than any of my other classes. We have goofy rules, in my opinion, but these kids need them, such as:

1. Once you sit there, stay.
2. Only two pencils in your desk.
3. Use only one paper towel after you wash your hands.

M doesn't like rule number three. Many days I have to say, "M, only one paper towel, please." And pretty much every day, there she is with multiple paper towels.

It's really not a huge deal--unless you're Little J.

Today was no different. M tried using multiple paper towels again, but today, no one really noticed thanks to a mini-crisis that was happening during her paper-towel fiesta. The crisis ended, life resumed, and M sat back down. Pretty soon, M's hand went up and she said, "Mrs. Overman, A used two paper towels."

Usually I don't entertain tattling, but since M was bothered by someone using too many paper towels, I said, "A, please use only one paper towel next time," thinking that M finally got the point.

No sooner had M's tattle left her mouth did Little J shout,

"M USED TWO PAPER TOWELS TOO!"

Personal Mini-Lesson for M: Always ask yourself if you have done something wrong before tattling on someone.

Underwear

Always a risky subject.

I walked by Little J working extra hard to hike up his pants today. He noticed, then said,

"I picked out the big underwear today."

Chicken Drumsticks

Ruth Ayres--this one is for you from one of your favorites.

Today at lunch for the first time ever we had chicken on the bone--chicken drumsticks, actually.

I could not have anticipated all the issues that would arise simply because we had to eat meat off the bone.

Several kids didn't understand that when you eat all the chicken, you don't save the bones and wash them like silverware. And you don't eat the bones. And you don't play with the bones.

One of my little guys was practically having a nervous breakdown over this lunch. I, on the other hand, was laughing hysterically.

This is mostly how the conversation went:

N: What is this?!?!

Me: It's a chicken leg.

N: What?!?! From a real chicken?

Me: Yeah, what did you think it was?

N: I thought it was a real drumstick made out of chicken.

*giggle*

N: This is a real leg of chicken?!

Me: Yes, honey. You can eat it.

N: But it has bones!

Me: I know, but you might really like the meat if you pull it off the bones.

N: What?!?! I don't think I like eating real animals.

Me: N, do you like chicken nuggets? Because this is the same thing, except it has bones.

{N gets help from a buddy "ripping" meat off the bone and tastes a microscopic bite}

N: Oh no. This is NOT like nuggets. I don't know WHAT chicken nuggets are made from , but this tastes like ALIVE chicken.

*giggle from everyone at the table*

N: I am never going to be able to eat animals again. And I probably won't be able to eat chicken nuggets again either.




Do they provide therapy for this kind of thing?

Best (Kid) Excuse This Year

One of my little ones inexcusably missed two or three simple math problems on her homework. Upon questioning, she explained:

"Oh yeah, I missed this because my bear was helping me."

Maybe You'll Think These Are Funny.

I've noticed in my three years of teaching first grade that by spring kids are starting to understand jokes.

After awhile, they begin to create their own. Oh dear.

Here is how I spent my lunch today:

"Mrs. Overman, why did the giraffe cross the road? He wanted to die and get a truck stuck in his neck!"

"Why did the bunny cross the road? He wanted to get hit by a car. No wait, that's not right...I saw this on TV once...I mean, he didn't want to get hit so he hopped really fast."

"Mrs. Overman, why did the chicken cross the road? To get some eggs."

"Hey! Why did the rabbit cross the road? So he could run across the street!"

I finally excused myself from this roadkill fest.

Don't you wonder if the SNL writers started out like this too?

Tattoos

Lest I offend any of my faithful readers, I'll begin by saying I have several dear friends with tattoos. I have no real problem with them...but I don't want one.

Tattoos + first graders: you know this can ONLY head south.

I have a little guy that's superquiet all the time. Today I look over and he's discreetly pulled his shirt up so his cohort can take a good long look at his stick-on tattoos.

Oh yes, they were all in a row, neatly lined up from his elbow to his shoulder.

No kidding.

So I say, "B, what did you do, just put the entire page of tattoos on yourself?"

He says, "Yep."

At least yours will come off in the shower.

Quotes

On days like today, there just isn't enough chocolate in my drawer...pickin' up what I'm puttin' down?

However, on days like today where I need more chocolate...the kids usually say HILARIOUS things. Here are three good ones:

"My eyes are the color grazel." (What's that? Green + hazel?)

"Yeah, my throat has been hurting like crazy. My mom says I have constillitis." (Tonsillitis? Or is that inflammation of constellations?)

"Those are some girly boys over there playing with that Barbie Castle." (Told you things were weird today!)



Thank you and good night. I'm on my way to the treadmill.

My Dog's Birthday

Another Community Circle/Sharing Time story:

M: Last night it was my dog's birthday!

Me: Oh, how nice. Did you do anything special for your dog?

M: No! She can't blow out candles, so we didn't do anything for her birthday.

Bustin' Out of the Garage Door

Community Circle/Sharing Time today was just chock full of goodies...my kids are in the weirdest mood today.

The best story shared was this one:

"Last night my go-cart wouldn't start so I put some gas in and kind of pushed on the pedal. Then I shot out of the garage in it."

"What?! Do you mean you went really fast out of the garage because the door was already open?" I asked.

He said, "Well, kinda. I guess I made the door open because when I got to the other side of the garage door there were some boards laying on the ground and stuff. My dad was kinda mad about that."


Confused? I was.


"So...you busted a hole in the garage door?!" I asked.

"Well yeah...I guess so."

I think I said something to the effect of "...wouldn't want to be your mom right now..."

A Real Predicament

This is my conversation at lunch with a little girl, K:

K: Mrs. Overman, I think I'm going to have to become a vegetarian.

Me: Why?

K: Well, I really hate to eat animals that have been killed.

Me: What will you eat then?

K: You know, vegetables and stuff. Which are good, but I really would hate to have to be a vegetarian because some of my favorite foods are from animals.

Me: That's quite a problem, then.

Pink Gloves

We are all great friends with Little J by now.

Here is his Monday story.

Today at dismissal he put on pink gloves with his coat.

Normally I wouldn't say anything, but he started it (have I been in first grade too long?) and this is how it snowballed:

J: Man, I hate these gloves.

Me: Are they your sister's?

J: NO! NO!

Me: Well, then why are you wearing them? Where are your normal gloves?

J: THESE gloves are part of a set. My mom got them. They had a black hat and some black gloves and these pink ones too. Because they are for GIRLS.

Me: *uncontrolled smile* So then where are the black gloves?

J: My brother got to wear them. Plus the black hat.



Wouldn't you love to see how that was decided this morning?

This is all I'll say about it.

Little J tried to sharpen his finger today in the pencil sharpener.

Brittany Spears

If you're still reading after the title of this post, you won't regret it.

I have a little girl who is fairly mature for her seven years. We'll call her N.

I typically dismiss my kids to do anything in small groups by saying things like:

"You may go if you have...

...long sleeves."

...shoelaces."

...blue eyes."

...pink on your shirt."


At dismissal time today, I did this as usual, but I added (for giggles), "You may go if you have hair."

N goes, "Yeah, Mrs. Overman, if Brittany Spears were here she'd have to wait till you said 'bald.'"

All Packed Up.

Today during Community Circle time (a time we use to get to know one another better which should some days be called "Therapy Circle," I think) one of my little girls, T, shared what she did yesterday:

"Well, my uncle was teasing me and calling me silly names. I got tired of it, so I packed up my stuff and I'm moving in with my grandpa because I can do anything I want there."

I said, "Running away? So how's that working for you?"

T: "I might have to run away today, actually. But my stuff is already all packed up."


Okay, darling...see you in the morning.

Dental Health Month

For Dental Health Month someone donated a supercool kid-friendly box o' stuff. It had individual packs of toothbrushes, toothpaste, and other things one might need to be rockin' at brushing teeth and make one's parents a little nutty.

I handed them out to the kids today, talked about what was in them, and this little stinker goes, "Man, do I need this! I haven't brushed my teeth in WEEKS!"

Me: "Seriously? Or are you kidding?"

T: "I am TOTALLY serious."


Eww...good thing the front two are missing.

KFC=Kentucky Fried Chicken

Today at lunch I was having a conversation with a little guy about eating out with his family. "We went to this restaurant somewhere and had chicken and mashed potatoes," he says.

Me: "Yum! What was the restaurant's name?"

N: "I just can't pronounce it even though I tried really hard."

(This kid is a fantastic reader, mind you.)

Me: "What do you mean? Why couldn't you pronounce it?"

N: "It had a big head of some guy on it and the sign said 'K and F and C.'"

Me: "Oh, Kentucky Fried Chicken."

N: "No. K and F and C."


Okay.


Rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it?

My First Real Days Away.

I have only had a substitute teacher for a half day this year when I was DEATHLY ill. And I spoke with her IN FRONT of my little darlings so they would know who was boss.

This week I was blessed to go to a supercool conference with some colleagues I adore. Had a great time, did some studying, etc. My kiddos had a sub, of course.

So we all met at school to ride together and when we got back after the first day, a couple of us went in the building...I, just to be sure my room hadn't entirely exploded. Not that subs don't do a good job...but I digress.

Anyway, I was already fretting about leaving my kids, and apparently it was for a good reason.

I was intercepted at the door by none other than our school nurse.

Bless her heart, she had seen 15 of my 19 kids that day.

And, as any good teacher can, I can right now tell you the four who DIDN'T see her.

Apparently my little sweeties were handing off the nurse pass like a free ticket to DisneyWorld.

Missing the Movie

Today my Little J told me a story he wrote to share for Writing Workshop. I've gotten wiser about allowing kids to share their stories since the time one of my kids wrote and shared about her cat dying in the dryer and how "his ears were melted in there." No longer do we share unsolicited stories that slip under the teacher's radar.

Back to Little J.

I said,

"Okay, J, tell me your story you'd like to share please."

J: "We went to the movie but my dad and brother missed the part where Sandman fell apart because my brother was puking in the popcorn tub."

I was, to J's disgust, cracking up.

J: "Hey! THAT IS NOT FUNNY! He was choking on a popcorn!"


I was laughing hysterically, J was mortally offended...then I had to explain how I wasn't laughing at his poor choking brother, not to worry, your teacher still cares very much about your family....Tomorrow I'll probably check on him and make sure he's not totally traumatized...right before I run a copy of that story for my refrigerator.

Gum

Today one of my kids asked, "Mrs. Overman, when were you born?"

Me: "1981."

G: "Did they have gum back then? Like all the kinds we have today?"



Geez, how old do I look?!



Me: "Yeah, and they had color TVs too!"

He didn't get that one.

The Worst Show-and-Tell Ever.

Last year during a show-and-tell time (which I don't do often, I must say...perhaps this is the reason), one of my little girls brought a single bird feather. I said, "Okay, A, please tell us about your feather."

"Well," she said, "This feather is from my pet bird."

"Very cool! Tell us a little about your pet bird, then."

"My dog ate it and this feather is all we have left."


Of course, my little darlings were MORTIFIED...all the while their teacher was trying her very best to not end up crying from laughing so hard.

Velcro

Little J...my little darling...never a dull moment with this kiddo.

This kid is nothing short of OBSESSED with velcro. He doesn't care where it is, what it looks like--he LOVES the stuff.

He spends lots of time strapping and unstrapping his velcro shoes and even sometimes chewing on the straps--because he LOVES velcro.

Let me tell you, in my room, I use velcro for lots of stuff. I have a couple of charts and a calendar that have velcro on them that the kids use every day.

The other day I was kinda irritated that my sweet Little J wouldn't stop strapping and unstrapping his velcro shoes--until I caught him LICKING the velcro on the calendar and the charts.

Sick.

So I thought, okay, I don't want to make him feel badly...I got in my supply closet, cut a couple of strips for him, and stuck them on his nametag on his own desk.

You would've thought I gave this kid a brand new stuffed toy: the velcro went EVERYWHERE with Little J. One of the paraprofessionals that work in my room said she had to make him put it down because he wouldn't work on his math!

Within the next day or so, Little J's personal velcro went missing.

The world stopped and held its breath--then--the velcro reappeared under his shirt.

Thank goodness.

Then I heard him say, "Boy, Mrs. Overman, I think I'm in love with velcro."


I wish you all could meet this kid.

I love it.

What Smart Kids Do.

Today was the 100th day of school, which in elementary school translates to a big, exciting day for celebration. You know, 100= wondrous one, zero the hero, and zero junior.

So we did lots of fun stuff...but I'll get to the meat here.

We made a list of 100 things smart kids know. Here are some of the things on our list (best list ever, BTW):

-Eat your veggies.
-Don't jump off of high places.
-Don't swat at bumblebees.
-Your first guess is probably right.
-Don't jump in if you can't swim.
-Be careful with your roasted marshmallow if it's on fire.

Then one of my little sweeties says, "Mrs. Overman, I have a REALLY good one: Smart kids don't go out in the public naked."

We had to have a talk about why we couldn't write that one down, no matter how true it was or how much people really need to know it.

But thanks anyway, darling.

Our Day Off

I have a little friend in my room that's exceptionally bright and has really great parents. They don't often let him watch TV or play electronic games--he usually reads or plays board games with his family. His dad works two jobs so his mom can stay at home with them, and sometimes his parents are both home when we're not at school because Dad is sleeping and Mom is, as usual, at home with the kids.

During sharing time Friday, I said, "Please share with us what you did on your day off yesterday."

N says,

"Well, my mom and dad said I could play on the computer for a little while today. Actually, I got to play for a long time!"

Me: "Well, that's unusual for you! What were they doing while you got to play?"

N: "They were in their bedroom. They shut the door, and I think they were playing a game or something because they were in there a long time. Probably Scrabble."


Probably not.

Today.

For some reason my students were really off today. In honor of their craziness, I'll post sporadically...mostly because there were lots of little silly things that happened...not just one big one.

1. One of my kids coughed so hard he fell over. Yep, fell right over.

2. Another little girl proceeded to tell me, "You know, Mrs. Overman, when I was a little girl, I used to take pictures of stupid stuff like puddles and grass. Now I take pictures of buildings and animals." Movin' up in the world, you are.

3. More than once today I was pretty sure there was an actual animal in my room what with all the noises I heard. Most common: "EEEEEEEEEEE!" in a mouse voice.

What a day.

Eating Grass

I teach next to this cool lady who is just hilarious. A couple of years ago my job was to pull one of her kids each morning for a reading program. We ended up having this discussion out of the blue:

D: "Mrs. Overman, Mrs. Hauser says we can eat a lot of grass and not get sick."

Me: "What? Why were you talking about that?"

D: "Well, because T eats A LOT of grass."

I can just picture how this classroom discussion went...

Chocolate Milk

Our question of the day at lunch:

N: "Mrs. Overman, how do they get chocolate milk?"

Me: "They just get regular white milk and put chocolate in it and then stir it."

B: "Oh. I thought chocolate milk came from the brown cows and this white milk comes from the white ones."


This makes me think of that Calvin and Hobbes cartoon where Calvin (a first grader) says, "Dad, who thought of getting milk from cows? Did they just think they'd squeeze those things and drink whatever came out?"

Glad I didn't have to answer that one! It DOES make you wonder, doesn't it?

Eww.

Datin' Girls

I learned something new today.

One of my little girls said to me, "Hey Mrs. Overman! You know why that kid's parents named him 'Dayton'? 'Cause he likes lots of girls and when he grows up, he's gonna be datin' lots of 'em!"

Hmm. I wonder if that's what his mom and dad had in mind.

Love your kids.

Say a prayer tonight for this sweet family. Check out their blog in my links along the side ("Blogs I Read")...title: "Little Kate's Blog."

Love on your kids a little more today.

;o)

Food

Today at lunch a couple of my little guys were playing around with their food. Normally I don't allow this because we talk LOTS about using our manners, but they were just biting their chicken nuggets into shapes as opposed to the usual ripping open a breadstick and wearing it like a thimble on a finger.

So anyway, this one little guy, while pretending to be a monster, bit his nugget into some shapely creature, put it up to his mouth, and quietly yelled, "Don't eat me! Please don't eat me!"

Of course, as all good monsters do, he ate it in one scrumptious bite.

More "Don't eat me! Don't eat me!" followed, and then from our favorite little J:

"Oh, I've heard my food say that before too."



As is typical with my little J situations:

I laughed; he had NO idea why.